Re-read your first line! Has a massive 'what'? Second line of second paragraph needs looking at and re-wording an or and! You must be careful with little mistakes like this - please proof read all your essays before you hand them in.
You have all the right ingredients but its very segmented. Try and incorporated the two music videos you discuss into your explanation of the two theories.Give me links to the music videos and try and pick sections of the video out which can be included in your explanation of Hypodermic needle. Don't just discuss the raw effect (people copying) but the fact that some of us are some immune to it that we ignore it and don't see it as harmful.
Re-read your first line! Has a massive 'what'?
ReplyDeleteSecond line of second paragraph needs looking at and re-wording an or and!
You must be careful with little mistakes like this - please proof read all your essays before you hand them in.
You have all the right ingredients but its very segmented. Try and incorporated the two music videos you discuss into your explanation of the two theories.Give me links to the music videos and try and pick sections of the video out which can be included in your explanation of Hypodermic needle. Don't just discuss the raw effect (people copying) but the fact that some of us are some immune to it that we ignore it and don't see it as harmful.